The World's Most Reclusive ALLEGEDLY Over-sexed Golf Sensation has a problem for which most of us would cut off a premium body part!
We really don't want to be the ones to rag on Tiger, because this scandal is already out of control and out of whack.
But the latest dish on The Grieving Symbol of The 9/11 Attacks-Turned-VIP Party Organizer (and world's most infamous ALLEGED homewrecker) Rachel Uchitel is that she'd love to bag The Tiger all for herself. Now, obviously the thing that comes to mind (besides "what's her favorite position?") is, well, just take a look at Tiger's current bride and mother of his children, the super fine Swedish blonde bombshell. This uber-hottie, who has the right to a substantial amount of his money (and his kids) couldn't keep Tiger's nine-iron from smacking them balls into her own personal hole-for-in-one.
So why Rachel would think she could tame the ALLEGEDLY prowling Cheetah ... um ... Tiger (get it?), we have no idea. Maybe her swing is better than the other girls. We don't know.
Honestly, we don't care either. We just like the fact she's a few miles away from his yacht (where he's ALLEGEDLY camping out ... WITHOUT any tail?), visiting Mommy for the holidays.
Now whether these reports are accurate or not, who cares? It gives us a great excuse to post her bikini pics, which are hot as hell, and start HERE.
We also have the world's most comprehensive media watch, which starts below, with our compliments. It's a busy day here at THE HEYMAN HUSTLE, but not as busy as those paparazzi that must be taking scuba diving lessons, hoping to nail a pic of Tiger and Rachel (if they even know each other, since they ALLEGEDLY do, but ... you know the legalities) under the water, getting it on like Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah in "Splash."
Yeah, that's a really dated reference, but I'm sure you get the point.
POOR SANTA. NOW HE'S OUT OF WORK FOR ANOTHER YEAR,
HIS HOUSE IS MELTING DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING, AND HE'S
PROBABLY BEING NAGGED TO DEATH BY THAT UNGRATEFUL
MRS. CLAUS. WE HIRED A FEW OF THE ELVES TO PICK OUT
THE LINKS FOR THE MEDIA WATCH. SO, WHY NOT BE NICE
TO THOSE PESKY LITTLE BASTARDS? PICK A PIC AND CLICK!
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